No doubt, you have seen this list of names in your sidebar on Facebook. This feature gets more people in trouble or jailed for sending unwanted friend requests and it is unnecessary. We have a solution for you.
The first thing we want to tell you is to never click ADD FRIEND on these names.
These people don't know you and you don't know them.
We don't care if they have 5 mutual friends to you or 500 mutual friends, the fact is they are strangers to you and, for sure, they will view you as a stranger to them.
If you send a friend request to any name on that list and if they choose to not accept it, most will click DELETE REQUEST button, which is OK. No harm, no foul.
It is when they also click the MARK AS SPAM button that things start to get a little serious for the sender (you) because that MARK AS SPAM button sends an immediate message to Facebook that they received an unwanted friend request.
Within 5 minutes, Facebook will react by jailing the sender (you). Either you will immediately be shown a popup telling you that you have abused the feature or the popup will be shown to you the next time you try to send someone a friend request.
It is called Facebook jail because for a set amount of time (to be determined by Facebook), the sender won't be able to use the friend request feature. It can be for as little as 24 hours and as much as 7 days. For the duration, they will have to ask others to send friend requests to them.
The bad part is if you sent a bunch of friend requests to the names on that list - for each person who clicks the MARK AS SPAM button on your 'unwanted' friend request, Facebook will add 24 hours onto your jail for each offense.
Nobody needs friends that badly. It isn't worth getting jailed because Facebook - the user-friendly site who wants their users to make new friends - is punishing you for sending "unwanted" friend requests.
On the flip side, what if one of the names sends you a friend request first? If you are accepting friend requests, no problem. But if you aren't, then you need to decide how you are going to handle it.
We have a way out for you which brings us to the second thing we want to tell you.
See that REMOVE button under each name?
Each person on that list also has a PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW list on their Facebook sidebar - and you are both on each others lists. In other words, as long as their name is on your list, then your name is on their list.
This is Facebook's way of helping users to make connections. It is their failsafe - if you don't send a friend request first, then Facebook put your name on the other person's sidebar so they can send one to you.
If you don't want more friends, or don't want to be MARKED AS SPAM, this is what you do:
Click on the REMOVE button under each name and keep going down the list until there are no names left.
Then refresh your screen. Click SEE ALL. You will get a new list of names. Do the same thing again until no names are left. Refresh one more time. Usually it takes about 3 refreshes for the list to get down to one or no names left.
You might have to do this a few times the first day or two to get down to no names. Once done, the list will not be on your Facebook again for up to 2 weeks. At that time, a new list will be shown to you and you will have to repeat the above.
When you are done, the best part is . . . for each name you removed, it also takes your name off their list.
There are no notifications sent to either person.
You might ask, why bother removing?
This is one of those Catch-22 situations.
Facebook wants you to make new friends. They give you certain tools to use (DELETE REQUEST and MARK AS SPAM) in case you get friend requests from undesirable people, or stalkers, or porn stars.
Unfortunately, to get rid of a friend request of someone you don't know, or if you aren't accepting friend requests at this time, you have to click DELETE REQUEST.
Facebook doesn't have anything in place for users to let Facebook know if a friend request was a simple deletion or if the friend request was offensive in some way.
Facebook's mission statement says their main objective is to help users make new friends. They figure if they put your name in their sidebar and their name in your sidebar, that between the two of you, maybe one will send a friend request. If one does, then Facebook can take credit that their sidebar feature is a success because it is helping users to make new connections.
How do you know if someone marked your friend request as Spam?
If they haven't accepted you for 24 to 48 hours after you sent a friend request, go to their profile and see if the ADD FRIEND button is still there for you to see.
If the button says FRIEND REQUESTED, it means they haven't accepted you yet or they intend to let your request sit unaccepted (they may not know it is waiting).
If the ADD FRIEND button is gone from your view, then you know they marked your friend request as Spam.
The purpose of clicking MARK AS SPAM is to fix it so the person can't send another friend request. What better way to fix it than to remove the ADD FRIEND button from their profile. It is only gone from your view because YOU are the one they don't want another friend request from. With no ADD FRIEND button, you can't.
Everyone else who is not yet friends with them can see it.
By the same token, for anyone's friend request that you click the MARK AS SPAM button to keep them from sending you another friend request, when they look at your profile and see the ADD FRIEND button is gone, they will know you spammed them.
Why are you seeing these names in the first place? Where did they come from?
We know it sounds corny, but Facebook wants everyone to be friends. To help that along, Facebook offers your friends to any newly made friend and all of friends of your new friend are offered to you. We can explain it in three ways:
1 - Let's say one of your friends (Friend A) made a new friend (Friend B). Because you are friends with Friend A, Friend B's name is being offered to you and all of Friend A's friends. By the same token,
OR
2 - Let's say that newly made Friend B has 2000 friends. After they made friends with Friend A, all of Friend B's friends names will be offered to you and all of Friend A's friends. As long as there is even one connection (mutual friends, plays the same games, etc.), all of Friend A's friends will see Friend B's name in the sidebar. All of Friend B's friends will see Friend A's name in their sidebar. Since that list can get pretty long, Facebook offers the names of only mutual friends and those who have same games in common.
OR
3 - Let's say that you yourself just made friends with Friend B recently. All of the names of Friend B's friends that have something in common with you and your friends (same games, mutual friends) will be on the People You May Know list in your sidebar AND on the sidebar of all your friends.
You can have the best security measures in place, but they don't apply to Facebook. In their infinite wisdom to foster friendship, Facebook breaks all security protocols and allows these names to be seen by the friends on all sides.
Facebook can't help themselves when it comes to users making connections. That's what they are all about.
We don't like this feature any better than you do. When we find a better solution to this issue, we will post it. For now, this is the best we can offer.
Share this post with your Facebook friends so they can enjoy our websites too. Thanks!
Click to share
to your Facebook
No comments:
Post a Comment